


Kiss Me Before I Fucking Lose My Mind

by mxikaaax



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-25 14:10:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16662411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxikaaax/pseuds/mxikaaax
Summary: When she came to the penthouse, it was dark and everything was quiet. She didn’t actually knew why she was there. Maybe it was because she felt alone and needed company. Or because she really missed him.





	Kiss Me Before I Fucking Lose My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first fanfiction i ever wrote. Obviously it's about Deckerstar. I love them with all my heart. 
> 
> Leave your opinions, I would love to read them and get tips from them. :) 
> 
> English is not my native language, i tried my best. :D
> 
> Inspired by the song 'Kiss Me Before I Fucking Lose My Mind' by Charlie Puth.
> 
> Four months after Chloe saw Lucifer's Devil face.

When she came to the penthouse, it was dark and everything was quiet. She didn’t actually knew why she was there. Maybe it was because she felt alone and needed company.  _ Or because she really missed him. _

They haven’t really talked. It were almost 4 months. She told him that she would need time and some space, she didn’t say how long, not how much. Not, that he should stay away completely. “ _ Please, I need time to think about everything. _ ” But if she is honest, she kind of avoided questions by both sides.

As she stepped out of the elevator, she said his name and hoped for getting an answer. She didn’t get one and she heard nothing either. She walked around, into the bedroom, looking for him, he wasn’t there. Back at the bar, she poured herself a glass of whiskey and sat down on the sofa.

A little bit later, she doesn’t know how long she sat there between getting herself more and more drinks, she heard the elevator. She decided not to move, because now she was almost drunk enough that she didn’t knew what to say to the question why she’s in his penthouse. Of course, right in that moment she sneezed.

”Well, Detective, I think you’re not good at hiding.” Lucifer said, humor in his voice and his grin on his face when he turned to her. He walked over to the bar, got himself a drink and walked to Chloe.

Chloe could face palm herself. Why does she always need to mess things up? Left out, that she drank very much and doesn’t know why she’s there.

“You know that I am pretty good, actually.” She answered. She smiled as Lucifer came back to her and sat down beneath her.

’ _ Yes, you’re really good. _ ’ He wanted to say, but he didn’t. “I can tell, you drank quiet much, I’m sure.” He looked at her with his puppy eyes, still a smile on his face.

“It wasn’t very much. Just three or four glasses.” Chloe answered. She leaned back, her gaze always directed at him.

“I think they’re doing much more to you than to me.” Lucifer laughed. He hold his glass up and took a sip. “So, what are you doing here?”

Of course, the question she didn’t want to hear. She looked at him, almost stared, it was a long moment until she finally said something. “I-... I don’t know. I think I want to talk.” And with this sentence, she could see Lucifer’s face change. It was, as if he was afraid. About what? Talking to her? At least, she already new, now, that he’s the Devil. Because she saw him, obviously.

It’s not hard to say, it was the day, her life completely changed. Now she knew, that everything he ever said about God being his father, he being the Devil himself and... and Marcus being Cain. Almost everything she believed and didn’t believed in turned around completely. And she’s actually angry at herself, that she didn’t believe in Lucifer, who maybe did everything to somehow getting her to believe him.

“You don’t have to be afraid. I can see it..” She said, putting her Hand on his shoulder. He looked at her and said nothing. “Just, answer me a few questions.”

Lucifer looked away again, but turned around to face her directly. “Everything you want.” He said and smiled softly. Chloe could see in his eyes, that he definitely didn’t know what would happen, she sighed.

“I know that things have been messed up lately, that we didn’t really talked and...” she stopped. Now she knew that she had no clue what she actually wanted to say. “You know, I think it’s just very surprisingly that, after all this time, everything you said is true. And I always tried to believe that it’s not, and I did. Because, how strange could this be...”

“In another way, it would be strange if everyone would believe that I’m the Devil every time I say it.” Lucifer answered. Chloe and Lucifer looked at each other and started laughing.

“I would love to know how many people you told that you’re the Devil. Just to know how many didn’t believe you.” Chloe said, the laughter didn’t stop.

Oh, how much she missed this. Laughing, especially with Lucifer. She never forgot how happy he actually made her. In those nights, when he was at her house, they both sitting on the sofa and just talked about everything and nothing. Laughing until Chloe couldn’t really breathe anymore and cried, having Lucifer sitting there, wondering why she was crying.

Every time when she thought about the things he said, to which she always just rolled her eyes, she started to smile. Everything seems to make sense now. Chloe always thought those things were so stupid, but they came out _ of the mouth of this handsome man, who always made her think how is it possible that he looks like this, but always says so stupid things.  _ That’s about almost everything he says, not just the I-am-the-Devil thing.

“So, when was the first time you really wanted to show me?” Chloe asked. Her gaze never moving off of him, it was as her eyes were bond to his.

“When I called you. Before Cain... eh, Marcus was here. Before he kidnapped me and my Devil face was gone. Before I tried to show you in-”

”-In the lab.” Chloe interrupted him. “When it didn’t work and I was disappointed because I thought you were just...” She was missing the right words. Tears started to fill her eyes as she looked up.

“That I was just saying stupid things and with showing you I just tried to make things real that you thought weren’t. And I’m not blaming you for that.” Lucifer answered, finishing the sentence for her, giving ‘showing you’ air quotes.

“Thank you,” she said, her voice small and light. “And I’m so sorry, too. I can’t believe how much I did hurt you there when I just walked away.” She put her hand back at his shoulder sitting up on the sofa. She wiped away the tears rolling down her face, it was good to talk with him about this after such a long time.

“You said, your Devil face was gone. What’s with your...” she said, moving her hands around like she’s pointing on something.

“My Wings? They were back.” Lucifer answered and finished the sentence for her, again.

“Yes..” Chloe answered. “Why didn’t you show them to me then?” She asked, looking Lucifer back in the eyes. In his eyes she could see, that this question could have an complicated answer.

Lucifer sighed. “Well, I think they aren’t something I really wanted to have.” He said. ”You remember, earlier in our partnership I told you already that I cut them off, well, Maze did cut them off.” he answered. Chloe turned her head around, looking in front of her.

“Maze...” she said. She wasn’t on her mind, until now. “Maze, she’s a...” Chloe didn’t finish the sentence.

“A Demon.” Lucifer answered.

“And she came with you to Earth, because...?” Chloe asked.

“I made her. And she was the most loyal one, she did protect me here and helped me.” Lucifer said. Chloe looked back at him and started laughing. “Detective?”

“I need to think about” she said. “A demon, when I first met her, almost annoyed by humanity and then...” That was the moment when Lucifer got the point what Chloe meant. ”Trixie loves her, a Demon. And Maze loves my daughter. And Trixie loves you, so, so much. I never could’ve believed she would like someone right from the beginning. But you and Maze got something...” Chloe just laughed. Lucifer started laughing, too. They both just sat there again, Chloe laughing and crying at the same time, Lucifer just sitting there and looking at her, confusion in his eyes. But now, he definitely knew, it was because she laughed so much.

“Well, I think that your Spawn made her way into my heart, too.” He said, raising his glass and took a sip. A wonder that there was still something in there. After he said this, he didn’t exactly knew why he said it. Looking over to Chloe, he stood up and went to the bar, got another bottle of whiskey and took it with him to the sofa. Chloe staring at him as if he just told her that the earth is going to explode. “Why are you so Surprised?”

“It’s nothing, just...” Chloe definitely didn’t knew what to say. She just looked at Lucifer and started smiling. “You know, after I saw you, well, your Devil face, I was never afraid that you would harm me or Trixie.” She said. Back at looking at him in his deep brown eyes, she always felt as if she’s lost in them.

“And this is still a mystery to me, actually.” Lucifer answered. Now, he looked her in the eyes, too. His thoughts drift away. How could he stay away from her for so long? Why didn’t he just talked to her by himself? Of course, he wanted her to have the time she needed. He didn’t want to be selfish.

“Did you really want me to be afraid of you? I knew you before. I learned to  _ like _ the side of you, you showed beneath being the Devil. I know, it wouldn’t change anything in your person.” Chloe said, moving her hand to his cheek. To be honest, she would’ve loved to kiss him right there. But she couldn’t. It would definitely not end the right way she wanted it to. And she wanted to talk, about everything. He’s so calm right now, she couldn’t mess this up.

“Who wouldn’t be afraid of the Devil? I expected you not to know whats going on for at least a week. That’s how it was for Linda.” Lucifer said. Chloe could hear that Lucifer didn’t really like to talk about this. But he did it, just for her. And she did appreciate it.

“I already know that Linda knows, I talked to her. She helped me, actually... Since when does she know exactly?” Chloe asked.

“Longer than a year.” He answered. Turning his head away, he was afraid what Chloe would say.

“Okay.” She said, looking at him and giving him a smile. Then she poured herself another glass and took a sip. “I wonder why I still know what I am doing. I drank so much already..” Chloe said with a laugh.

It was just ‘Okay’. Nothing more, nothing less. Was it good? Lucifer didn’t know. “Another questions?” He asked.

“You left.” Chloe just said. Lucifer knew what she meant. He went off to Vegas and came back, married .

“Yes, I left...” Lucifer answered. He played with the glass in his hand.

“Why did you do this?”

It was quiet for a long time. Both of them just sitting there. Chloe was patient as never with Lucifer, she learned. If she would push him to say something, it wouldn’t turn out well.

“To be honest, I did it because of you.” He answered. Now his voice seemed to be very small. He looked back at her in her blue eyes and tried to explain. “Before everything happened with you being poisoned, before I showed up at your house, my mum told me something about you.”

“About me?” Chloe asked. Turning around to him, so she could look straight to him. Her hand on his knee.

“You’re a miracle, literally. Amenadiel once came to earth to bless a couple so that they could have a child. It turns out, that they were your parents.” He said. Chloe didn’t move or said anything. “Since I thought you may be a figure of my father to play with me, I thought you didn’t had a free choice about what you did in our partnership”

“Friendship, please.” She interrupted him. “I did nothing in our partnership, but I did something in our friendship.” Chloe still just looked at him and didn’t move. “And the thing with your mum, I would like to ask...”

“Was Charlotte Richards at this time. Before the thing at the pier happened. The real Charlotte woke up after this and my mum, well, she was in another universe.”

“Right.” Chloe answered. “Now, please, back to the point why you left. You wanted to give me a free choice, because you thought I am a figure of your father. Why didn’t you believe that everything I did was my own choice?” Chloe asked, her voice got serious.

“Because my father, he likes to play. He’s stupid and I think he would do everything to make me feel bad, no matter how.” He answered. “After the thing with Malcolm, when he got Beatrice and he shoot me, I had dreams. Very bad dreams. I didn’t know why I had them and I still do not know.” Lucifer sighed. It was very hard to talk about this for him. Chloe took his hand in both of her hands. “It was always the same. Malcolm was there, you were there and...”

“And he killed me?” Chloe said, finishing Lucifer’s sentence this time. The answer was small. “Yes.”

“When it happened the second time it was even more bad. Not just because you almost died, also because of what I...” Lucifer stopped, staring at his hands on his lap.

“Because of how you feel about me...” Chloe said. She started smiling as Lucifer looked back at her. Their eyes met, but neither she or him said something specifically about it. “I still do know what you said to me when we were at the beach. I still think that this is not right.” It was quiet for a moment. “Why did you leave the second time, on my birthday?” She asked.

“I’m so sorry about that. They thought Candy was dead, but it turned out that it was a mistake. And she was in danger so I, well, Ella and I helped her.” Lucifer smiled as Chloe squeezed his hand. “And the day before you saw my Devil face, I never thought that I would almost live trough my dream the day after this. When we were there and Pierce shot you, I really thought I lost you. It hurt so much. Not only because you fell into my arms, also because I did save you.” Lucifer said, his voice was so quiet, she could barely hear him.

“How?” Chloe asked.

“With my wings.” Lucifer told her.

“Show them to me, please.” She said as she squeezed his hand.

Lucifer just looked at her with confusion. He didn’t understand this woman. And even if he did, she was still a mystery. He started laughing, stood up and after this, he unfold his wings.

Chloe stared at them. “Wow...” she whispered. “They’re...”

“Beautiful? Divine? Holy?” Lucifer said after Chloe said nothing.

“They are very beautiful. They look strong.” Chloe answered as she stood up too and reached for the wings to touch them.

Lucifer was surprised by himself. Normally, he instantly would put them away again, but not with her. Chloe literally broke the Devil. “You know, I started working with you because I thought you were interesting.” He said. He felt like Chloe didn’t listen. “What do you say to this? My Mojo-thing? Because it didn’t work on you. I wanted to know why. That was the first thing. And then I started to bleed. The first time as you shot at me.” That was the first time Chloe actually reacted to something he said then.

“Wait... I make you bleed?” She asked.

“Not just that. You make me vulnerable.” Lucifer answered.

She remembers the night as he said it to her, after she told him that she thinks that the thing they have goes beyond work or sex. After she showed up at his penthouse when she was drunk, the night before.

“And you still saved me with them.” Chloe said. Lucifer could tell, she couldn’t believe it. He actually just hoped that her brain could take anything right now and wouldn’t be broken if he puts his wings away again.

Lucifer thought for a moment, but then, he moved his wings around them like he did when he saved her. When Cain’s people were shooting at him from all sides. When he felt the pain through his whole body just to save Chloe, the human he  _ loves _ .

Chloe felt safe like never before. She looked at the wings, touched them and looked Lucifer in the eyes. He just stared at her and was fascinated by her, like always. “Lucifer, I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything. I need to say something.” He answered. Chloe smiled at him, he smiled back. They stood there, his wings around them. Everything felt safe and Lucifer just wanted to stay in this moment, exactly like Chloe.

“There this thing with my brother, Uriel, where you were in danger, I did something and after this I was so hurt, I didn’t even understood why.” Lucifer said. Chloe looked at him, Her eyes were telling that she didn’t understand this. “What did you do?” She asked. _ “I killed him.” _

She didn’t say anything. She just looked and started to give him a hug. He pulled her closer, he never thought she would react like this. “Lucifer, I am so sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. It was my doing.” He said, letting her go. “I had dreams, about this and everything else that happened at this time. When I had them, I always woke up and felt like I couldn’t breathe. I asked myself if I should call you, but it was at night, obviously, and I let you sleep. Maze was annoyed when those dreams came back and I called her to ask if she could check if you’re okay.” Chloe started laughing. One Hand at her mouth, the other one at Lucifer’s chest. “Don’t laugh.” Lucifer said, his voice clearly showed that he was nervous.

“Sorry.” Chloe answered but didn’t stop smiling.

“Now I know, that all the time that has passed, in those three years, I didn’t knew what was going on with me, or with us. I didn’t knew what I felt. Maybe I hoped it would come along alone. And then, when everything with Pierce started, I felt helpless. Because you didn’t believe me and I didn’t try everything to make you believe me. Instead I just messed it up even more.” Lucifer got quiet.

Chloe could hear that his breathing was fast. She wanted to ask if everything is okay, but Lucifer just shook is had as a sign, that she shouldn’t talk.

“I know, that I did put you in danger. And I knew it then. And I know it now and I would do everything to change it, but I can’t. And I’m so sorry for this.” That was the last thing Lucifer said, but he didn’t move. Neither did she, after a long moment, she decided to say something.

“You know, I am here. That means, you did something right. You saved me. And not just me. You also saved Trixie and Dan. Trixie, the first time with Malcolm. And she still has a mother, because of you. Because you saved me four months ago. And Dan, because he’s not alone with Trixie.” Chloe said, holding his Hands in hers.

“I saved your life not just then.” Lucifer said, he saw tears filling her eyes. “When you were poisoned, I died. I killed myself. I went back to hell to get the antidote, for you. Maze and Linda helped me.” He added.

A conversation between her and Ella comes to her mind.  
  
_'Now I die for her.’ Ella said.  
‘I hope no one ever loves me that much.’ Chloe answered._

“Why did you do this?” Chloe asked. She started crying. It wasn’t she who carried his hands anymore, it was him who carried hers.

Lucifer moved his head to hers, so that he could whisper right into her ear. “Because I love you, Chloe.”

That was the moment where Chloe gave up. She started crying more than she ever did, moved her head and started to kiss him. The kiss was deeply and she felt more than ever. Both times they kissed are surpassed and Chloe was happy. Happier than she ever was, because she finally heard him say it.

Chloe pulled back, looking into his deep brown eyes, which were shining more than ever. “I love you, too.” She whispered.   
  
Chloe moved her hand into her pocket as she pulled out the bullet necklace. They both looked down at it and smiled. “Wanna put it on again?” She said.

Looking into her eyes, he said with a soft voice “It would be my pleasure.” As he took the necklace. 

 


End file.
